Posted Aug. 7, 2008
Bullspit! There. You have my one-word response to those well-meaning, but sadly misguided souls who insist we must devote equal, politically correct amounts of time and energy to all of the important aspects of our life. These things may include, but certainly aren't limited to, Career, Family & Relationships, Health, Spirituality and Finances.
Many folks have a tendency to look at people who are driven in a certain arena, and tut-tut with seeming concern, "You know, you really should try to get some more balance in your life." Maybe this concern is sincere, but there remains one problem. "Balance" can only be defined by you, for you. No one can dictate what balance means in your life, and you cannot impose your definition of balance upon others.
What' s more, if a person wants to truly excel in a certain area, and he or she's not already a natural prodigy within it, then that person will have to sacrifice time and commitment from something elsein order to get there. Say, for instance you wish to train for a sprint triathlon. This is a worthy goal, for some people. It will definitely whip you into the best physical condition of your life and let's not kid ourselves, it looks damn good on a resume. So let's say the one you have in mind is a mere six months away. You're currently carrying a spare tire and get winded just circling the block. Walking.
Can you get in shape in time? Absolutely. But it will require you to devote an extraordinary amount of time and focus to forging yourself into competitive shape. Instead of hitting the snooze button at 5 a.m., you would have to get up and put in some roadwork.
Rather than indulge in the heavy meat lover's pizza at your working-lunch office meeting (raising my hand here, occasionally guilty as charged), you would want to bring your own – or ask the meeting organizer to order you a chicken Caesar instead. That way you wouldn't feel like an impaled whale the rest of the afternoon and you'd feel less inclined to ditch the evening weight routine.
On the weekend, you might have an overload of nagging projects that need tending around the house. Home Depot might be beckoning sweetly for you to come on in – just have a look real quick. Or maybe the significant other wants to visit Country Bumpkin Buffet for the all-you-can-inhale breakfast. But if you're to stay true your goal – finishing that triathlon – then these things will hold little sway over you.
So I need to point out, this isn't my idea. It's the pattern that's emerged after reading book after book after book on high achievement, motivation, success – any allied topic from which I could extract nuggets of wisdom for fellow workout aficionados looking to take their training up a few … paradigms.
Listen to what Michael Masterson, author of "Confessions of a Self-Made Multimillionaire" has to say about so-called balance. To put this in context, he recommends just fixating on four major life objectives:
"…You have to decide whether achieving your top goal is THE MOST important thing to you … there is a 99% chance you will achieve your top goal if you are willing to do anything to achieve it.
"If you want a more balanced life, you will have to accept a lower percentage of probable success. The good news is that your chances of accomplishing your other three goals will then increase."
He goes on to say that there is a way to live a life with more depth than a cardboard cut-out. Namely, waking up very early and chipping away at your major life's goals daily. Doing it first-thing each morning guarantees you'll successfully build toward each one, instead of frittering your days away in procrastination (Incidentally, his No. 1 focus these days is not amassing wealth, as you might be forgiven for assuming – the man is already filthy rich. Clocking in at just past the half-century mark, Masterson says he's most focused now on his health – working out daily and eating clean so as to stave off the ravages of time.)Or how about this, from Success Built to Last, Creating A Life That Matters (By Jerry Porras, Stewart Emery and Mark Thompson):
"As culturally defined, balance is in fact bullshit – as a popular concept, it ranks right up there with the idea that there is just one passion for your life, and when you know what it is, you'll be happy. It rarely works this way. If you define balance in the sense that it requires equal proportions of life partitioned into four or five politically correct parts, then CEOs and presidents don't have balance, nor do most Nobel laureates. The Dalai Lama doesn't either, nor does Nelson Mandela or Bono.
Enduringly successful people, many of whom live a life that's a gift to the world, don't raise balance as a major issue – not because they have it masterfully handled, but because they were busy doing what mattered to them."
I could go on, but hopefully you get the idea. If there's something you want to do, really bad… and you have to set some things to the side to do it… and maybe have to let the weeds grow up a little more aggressively than you'd like in other areas… then do it! If it has real meaning to you, and will force you to grow in significant and life-altering ways, then you will have achieved balance.
